Worth It
I took a week off, which you may have noticed because your inboxes were empty this past Monday (hopefully it didn’t wreck your week too badly!). We were busy “spring breaking” in the Wisconsin Dells, aka “The Waterpark Capital of the World”. I’m guessing you can figure out how our days were spent. On our drive to Wisconsin, Eli, my 7-year-old, said to me:
Eli: Mom, will you get in and swim?
Me: Well, I was planning to. Why?
Eli: Because you usually just sit on the side with your feet in and talk to your friends.
Me: Well, I won’t have any friends there.
Eli: Good. I don’t want you to have any friends.
Point made, kid. Point made. So, I decided not to be the sitting observer I usually am, but instead be an activate participant in whatever my boys were doing. I did all of the things, rode all of the rides, played all of the games, and was rewarded with some very happy kids. It was all worth it, in spite of a bathing suit being required attire.
Lest you be disappointed in my lack of people watching, not to fear. I was still able to play and observe, which allowed me to devise 5 categories of waterpark goers. Obviously, I can’t be greedy and keep this valuable information to myself. So let me share it with you.
Category #1: Kids
Hands down, the best group of waterpark goers. This group bursts out of the dressing rooms, wide eyed, full of energy, and heads straight for the nearest pool of water. Oftentimes, you will find their grown-up trailing them shouting “wait for me!” as the kid belly flops into the shallow end. This group is exactly who waterparks were made for. No one is more appreciative of all the water and rides, nor more willing to try everything their grown-ups will allow. The scariest loop-de-loop raft ride? They believe they can do it. The toilet bowl plunge? No problem. Their day consists of all of the emotions: elation, surprise, joy, fear, sadness, happiness, jealousy. It’s no wonder they come home exhausted. So worth it.
Category #2: Teens
This group is a pure joy to watch. You have your girls and you have your boys. They don’t necessarily mix, but they’re usually in close proximity to one another. Girls don their best bathing suits and strut their stuff around the waterpark, side-eyeing the opposite sex while maintaining their distance. Some might go all in and get wet, but many have a look their trying to achieve, which wet hair would ruin. The boys stay in their flock, making loud noises, pushing each other into the water unexpectedly and laughing obnoxiously, all while keeping a close eye on the girl group. There’s power in numbers, so you don’t dare leave your group. Concession stand? Together. Bathroom break? Together. One-person water slide? Together. Always together, proving, yet again, why packs are so important.
Category #3: The Moms
This group is quite possibly the easiest to identify. You’ll initially notice them taking a deep breath, peeking around the corner of the dressing room, and tiptoeing out to the nearest table/chairs, oftentimes wrapped in a towel. They’re mindful of where their kids are, but even more mindful of the fact that they are wearing a bathing suit. They slowly dip a toe in the water, wade out to about knee-deep and keep a watchful eye on their brood. They can easily transform from mom to lifeguard at any given moment, sensing danger from the other side of the pool. They are snack getters, raft retrievers, goggle tighteners, and bathroom runners. They’re also cheerleaders for all the dives, flips and jumps that are performed by both their children and husbands, who constantly bombard them with “watch this one, Mom!” Their moods relax only after they resign themselves to the fact that their swimsuits are a necessary evil. By the end of the day, you can find them splashing happily with their kids, riding all of the rides, and floating down the lazy river. And finally realizing…it’s all worth it.
Category #4: The Dads
Much like the kids, this is my next favorite group to watch. They, too, burst out of the dressing room wide-eyed and ready to conquer anything. They usually set their sites on the biggest, fastest rides, but will also take a plunge down the lazy river if it involves a tube fight or a race (so much for it being lazy). They can often be overheard saying to their wives/kids “watch me!” as they show off their diving/swimming/rafting skills. They believe that whatever they can do, so, too, can their kids. This often entails a crying/coughing/sputtering kid seeking the safe refuge of their mom, while the dad continues obliviously on his mission. No ride is too scary, no wave is too tall. All that matters is having fun, and Dads know how to have it.
Category #5: The Grandparents
This is the group we should all strive to be. They. Do. Not. Care. They are there purely for their own enjoyment, watching their grandkids frolic in the water, taking pictures and recording every moment for posterity. They live for this, and they won’t waste their time worrying about what they’re wearing, how they look, or what people are thinking. They enjoy spending time in the pool with their family as much as sitting on the deck, sipping a pina colada. Being together is what’s most important; every moment is worth it.
Obviously, this isn’t an all-inclusive list, nor does it represent everyone within these five categories. But, here’s the take-away: amidst the insecurities, over-zealousness and lack of clothing, we are all here for the same reason: FUN. And no matter which category we fall into, we can’t help but have it. So, here’s to being wide-eyed, over-confident, unapologetic waterpark goers. We deserve it…and we’re worth it.
