Chaos & Noise
I’ve been contemplating these words all weekend. What to write, what to write, what to write? It seemed as though inspiration had eluded me this week. Nothing stood out, made an impact, grabbed my attention. Nothing seemed noteworthy.
We just came off a lllloooonnnnngggg weekend, with both snow and parent teacher conferences interrupting our normal school days. I’ve vacillated between elation and frustration at having my boys home. Muddy boots, wet floors, mounds of laundry and endless arguments about electronics have consumed my days, not to mention a puppy who has been trained to ring a bell every time she wants to go outside…and who rings said bell every five minutes. Beggars can’t be choosers, now can they? It has been constant chaos, mess and noise for FIVE LONG DAYS.
And then something amazing happened. I sat down to gather my thoughts, with a barking dog in the backyard and two little boys in the bathtub, the noise and chaos still very much alive. But this time, I stilled my breathing, closed my eyes and I listened, really listened. And instead of noise, I heard giggling as my boys read the back of their shampoo bottle and dissolved into hysterics (apparently those big words are hilarious), the pitter-patter of paws down the hallway, the splashing of water inside - and outside - of the bathtub, the clicking of the keyboard on my husband’s laptop. As the night progressed, the competitive sounds of a one-on-one bedroom basketball game bellowed out of my 11-year old’s room while my 7-year-old read to himself (out loud, of course) in bed, and the soft sigh of our puppy offered a comforting end to the evening as she finally settled down to sleep (don’t worry, she rang the bell one more time, for good measure). When I pushed away the chaos, I heard life…real life. I missed the forest for the trees these last five days, allowing the superficial to annoy, distract and frustrate me. To only hear the noise and not listen to the sounds. I’d made it all the way to the end, but could only now appreciate the journey. ‘Tis the way of life, isn’t it?
Tomorrow brings back our normal routine, a sense of calm to our chaos. The hallways and bedrooms of our house will once again be quiet, and the stillness will return. I’ll remind myself, once again, to enjoy it all…the calm, quiet, noisy, chaotic life we have built. Because I longed for this life, for these moments, for this journey. And I can’t imagine spending it any other way.
